Before we begin, let’s get one thing straight: I am doing this for me and not for you. That’s right. This review is not for you or some other consumer’s benefit. This entire review is actually just an elaborate ploy so that I can drink wild amounts of Starbucks without being labeled as “basic”.
I am something of a Starbucks

Now that you’ve been assured of my credentials, it’s time to get down to
In their advertisements, Starbucks describes the Cinnamon Shortbread Latte as being a cozy mix of steamed milk, rich espresso, and buttery vanilla shortbread sauce, with a dusting of cinnamon and nutmeg on top. Now, I do not know exactly who at Starbucks wrote this description or what led them to write it, but I do know that I would like to have words with them about honesty and false promises. As you can probably gather, I was not nearly as impressed with the CSL as Starbucks seems to be.
At the outrageous price of $4.55 for a Short (8 fl oz), the Cinnamon Shortbread Latte should have tasted like snow days, joy, and fulfillment in a cup. However, the underwhelming latte instead tasted more like a cup of hot buttery milk than anything else. Seriously, this latte was so exceedingly milky that even Hood itself wouldn’t have dared to pose the question, “Got Milk?” It is common knowledge among experienced baristas and coffee connoisseurs that the purpose of a latte’s bland whole milk base is to complement and enhance the beverage’s more subtle accompanying flavors. Crafting lattes with this precise ratio of bland milk to subtle sweetness and spice is something of an art. An art form that, it is now evident to me, Starbucks has yet to master. The Cinnamon Shortbread Latte starts off promisingly enough with the whole milk present in all its bland glory. However, this is where the latte’s potential is cut short as the accompanying flavors of cinnamon and shortbread are so subtle that the milk actually overpowers and renders them imperceptible. After seeing Starbucks make such a rookie mistake as this, I can’t help but wonder if they are simply not as good as I thought they were.

As for texture, I have nothing good to say on that account either. In fact, the texture of the

After 15 or so minutes of reluctant sipping, my festively decorated cup was finally empty, and I was left staring regretfully down at its bottom. Staring back up at me was a greasy and globular residue
Reflecting on my utterly underwhelming experience now, I feel the need to ask Starbucks: why? You do so much so well. Why would you fall so short now? Did you have an excess of butter which you needed to expel as quickly as possible? If so, why would you not simply put it into one of your delicious pastries? Why would you instead choose to poison your loyal customers with death-by-dairy?
Starbucks, I will forgive you eventually, but it’s going to take time. Even now, I do not feel that the buttery coating and aftertaste of your vile creation has entirely left my tongue. In the meantime, I have a simple plea for you. Stop with the milk, stop with the butter, and maybe even stop with the dairy altogether until you are certain that you can handle using them responsibly again. Future spicy cinnamon and sugary shortbread potential need not be senselessly lost to your overzealous dairying. RIP Cinnamon Shortbread Latte. One miserable star.⭐️